The other day, one of the comments of Raghu (owner of the hugely popular MTV show Roadies) caught my attention- People generally make relationships for convenience. When there is no need, there exists no relationship. I opine that though he generalized it too much, but he was also right in so many ways… Wasn’t he?
Let’s take the case of making friends when we go to a new place-college, work place or may be a short stay at a place. Honestly thinking about why we do make friends., the thoughts that run in our mind are- we have 2 adjust here, may b friends will help us later on, assist in achieving our objectives, or just plain survive. Or may b he/she is higher in stature in social terms, academics or charms and the influence will do us good. How often do we make friends just for the sake of it? This is not an accusation- just plain introspection…
Even when it is romantic love, if a girl is asked- why do u need a boyfriend, why do u love him, the answer is more often than not- I feel cared for, secure about my life n not lonely. A guy’s reply includes, she’s beautiful, she loves me, is my comfort zone and even “this is the age of having a date, all my friends have a girlfriend”. Do we not catch a hint of selfishness, of convenience enhancing measure and expectations? Why can’t one just say- I love him/her just for what she is. No demands, no expectations.
The gist is- no one’s gonna come n accuse us for what we do with our lie, whom we chose to get close to n what relations we maintain. But why not look beyond our convenience, n touch people’s lives just freely, without any motives, what so ever. N then take it as it comes. I’m sure it can b much more fun exploring it tat way!
Good point.
ReplyDeleteIt is not as if the young men and women are oblivious to the tinge of selfishness in every relationship - it just seems too difficult to be implemented in reality.
Consider falling in love with someone, but never asking him/her out because he/she considers you just a friend - it is difficult to live with - not impossible, but too painstaking to even think of.
Friendship, though, has seen better days.
As regards teenage relationships, where you often hear 'I'm in one because my friends are in relationships too', is at an age where the mind is out exploring a new kind of emotion - so the person is not at fault envying his/her friends walking around with a partner while he/she awkwardly sit alone, feeling out of place.
okay ..point accepted.. but dont u think that somewhere down the line we are all looking after our own selfish needs...if u say u want to love a girl just for sake of loving her thats impossible coz then u can love any random girl.... u love sumone only wen there are things YOU can connect to with her..YOU feel happier ... at the end of the day its always about YOU...love in itself is not selfish- u care about sumone else but then u do it for YOUR happiness coz YOU feel bttr wen she is happier... so the reason u love is selfish bt love or fr that matter frndship is not selfish ...
ReplyDeleteSo true. "Convenience" today is not only limited to the relationship one seeks, but to all other aspects of life as well- we conveniently get degrees for jobs, conveniently complain about bureaucracy,political systems and corruption from our living rooms, conveniently seek refuge in a routined, mediocre life to escape challenges from living our dreams...the list is endless.
ReplyDeleteA well-thought of article. Keep it up!
Now, on the contrary, imagine personal relationships with all others that are no longer need based, but emerge more profoundly from an experience of personal fulfilment, personal power and the personal expression of the highest thought about yourself and others!
ReplyDeleteImagine romance that exudes not from the thought you "can't live without" someone, but from the awareness that the expression and experience of your Fullest and Highest and Grandest Self is not dependent on any other perrson, but enriches every person whose life you touch immensely, allowing you to truely love from a place of giving!
Now its for us to decide(read "realise") which way to choose!
The comments themselves are as good as the substance in the blog, or in some cases, even better! Looking forward 2 more of these reflections...
ReplyDelete